If You Call Disney Characters Your “Friends,” You Might Be a Psychopath

And We Say That With Love. Kind Of.

Let’s get something out of the way: we love Disney. Truly. The parks, the nostalgia, the music — all of it.

But if you find yourself locking eyes with a human inside a Goofy suit and whispering, “You remember me, don’t you?” — you’ve crossed a line. A very fuzzy, mouse-eared line.

This is for the Disney adults. Not the casual fans. Not the ones who rock a fun shirt and maybe snag a Dole Whip.

We’re talking about the ones who refer to Mickey and Minnie as “the old crew,” say things like “I had to come say hi to my girl Ariel,” and have emotionally loaded conversations with someone being paid $17/hour to blink and pose.

If you're a grown adult holding up a line of sweaty children while telling Rapunzel how much she “got you through your breakup in 2014” — you need to reevaluate some choices.

Are you allowed to love Disney? Yes.
Is it fine to take a picture with your favorite character? Also yes.
But should you be treating it like a therapy session with Donald Duck while six toddlers cry behind you in line? No. No, you should not.

We get it. Magic is real. Inner children are healing.
But so are boundaries.
And, honestly, if you're calling Tinker Bell your best friend and you’re not under the age of 9... maybe touch grass.

And let the kids have their turn.
They’re literally the target demographic.

Want to reclaim your sanity and still enjoy the parks? Come hang with us at Main Street Meltdowns — where the Mickey-shaped joy is real, but so is the self-awareness.

*Affiliate disclosure: We earn small commissions from the links we share. It helps fund therapy for people still making eye contact with Gaston like he's their ex.