We came for the magic. We stayed for the meltdowns.

Hi. We’re the parents dragging three kids and a full snack bag through the park gates before sunrise because a YouTube planner promised it would be magical.

We’ve waited 45 minutes for popcorn, worn matching shirts against our will, and cried in a corner of the Storybook Circus splash pad — sometimes alone, sometimes with our kids. We’ve gotten swamp ass by 10 a.m., eaten $62 worth of snacks, called it a meal for our kids, still felt hungry, and said “never again” — only to book another trip during a food festival.

Main Street Meltdowns was born out of pure love and complete exhaustion. We're Annual Passholders, Florida locals, and theme park masochists who keep going back even though we swore we wouldn't.

This site isn’t about how to plan the perfect trip. It’s about surviving the one you’re already stuck in.

We built this for the real theme park parents:

• The ones who sacrificed their PTO for four days of line-standing and stroller rage

• The ones who carry toddlers who swore they didn’t need the stroller (Never trust your kid when they say they'll walk)

• The ones budgeting $14.50 for a Mickey pretzel because “it’s a tradition”

• The ones who’ve felt the soul-crushing pain of Lightning Lane confusion and character dining regrets

• The ones who don’t work for Disney — but definitely work too damn hard to afford it

Here, you’ll find:

🧻 Oh Crap Bag (with affiliate links so we can afford sunscreen and emergency snacks)
🎢 Unfiltered blog posts about breakdowns, snack rage, and questionable decisions
💬 A Facebook group where it’s okay to admit you don’t always love the magic

We’re not here to sprinkle pixie dust on reality. We’re here to laugh, cry, pack extra Goldfish crackers, and maybe help the next parent avoid a parking lot meltdown of their own.